I don’t know about you, but as I get older (46 in 8 days!) the exciting thrill that comes with a personal breakthrough is usually quickly followed by (as Homer Simpson says) a “Doh!”. This phenomenon happens because the revelation of how to improve my self and my life is often so blindingly obvious that I wonder what I have been doing for the last 45 years.
This is can be well illustrated by the events of this morning.
I awoke to a still dark sky and a quiet house. After some silent affirmations and positive thoughts, my current favourite being “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you”, (by the way, if you’re in a relationship, try saying to each other first thing in the morning, it really works) my mind started waking up. Immediately these thoughts bubbled to the surface. I’ll write them as they occurred to me.
“One of my default positions is to feel disconnected from people and withdraw and when I withdraw I feel alone. When I feel alone, I feel as though nobody cares about me and I make bad choices. My bad choices generally make me feel more isolated. You know what, not feeling alone would be a really good way to live my life. So all I have to do is to connect with people everywhere I go every day. By connecting I mean being open to great conversations and being willing to authentically be present with them for the time we are together. However, I also sometimes need time to myself, so when I’m not connecting with other people I need to consciously and actively connect with my surroundings (nature, a movie, a hot bath, a good book, my laptop in a crowded cafe etc) or connect with myself and my inner world. The other part of this is to not indulge in the activities, behaviours and thoughts that make me feel disconnected. If I do this I will always be connected to something or someone, I’ll never feel alone and I’m more likely to live a life of good habits, good choices and good outcomes.”
Wow, amazing revelation for me. Doh! of course that is a good idea, what have I been doing for 45 years?
Before I had time to ponder this more deeply my alarm went off and it was time to wake my kids for school and make pancakes.